Part of the List
by JadeBeckOTP
Summary: What if Kacey stayed on tour with Cee Lo? How would Stevie take it?


**Author's Note: Here's my first Kavie/Stacey story. Well the first one I could actually finish before could get mysteriously deleted anyway. I've gotta say I'm pretty proud of this one. I think this is the first story for this fandom that I didn't think was too cheesy. Well it is kind of cheesy but the good kind; maybe gouda or cheddar or whatever kind of cheese you're into. So yeah.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own How to Rock or the song and neither does Stevie Baskara. I also don't own dkny, just sayin'.**

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The day Kacey left the band behind to tour with Cee Lo was the day my world fell apart.

She told us her decision; and left that same day. It was a Monday when she left us; she said her goodbyes and told us she loved '_us'_. But I knew she was talking to be in particular when said that statement.

"You know this was a hard decision for me, _and I love you guys_."

She looked at me when she said those last words. I wanted to tell her I love her back, but I knew I wasn't supposed to. Our love was a secret, not for anyone to know. But I also couldn't tell her because I was afraid if I did than I would start crying right then and there. So all I could do was nod my head at her and I know she knew what I meant.

She went on to explain that she was sorry for leaving before the battle of the bands when I had enough. I had to tell her that all that didn't matter and what mattered was that singers are replaceable but the relationship we had isn't. I still hate that I had to give her the friend version of that speech due to the guys being around.

If they weren't there I would have told her that I believe in her, and she I know she could make it. I would've told her to not hold back because I know she's going to make it big. I would have told her to call me every night so that I wouldn't have to miss the sound of her voice, I would have told her to write and call me to tell me how she's doing and how much fun she's having, so that I could feel I was a part of her adventures, and so I'd never have to let her go. And I would have kissed cherry lips and told her I love her.

I couldn't take the distance anymore and we were bother about to burst into tears so I hugged her as tight and as long as I could without raising any suspicion. And until this day I still regret not whispering to her I love her into her ear as I held on to her magnificent frame.

&&&&.

She still writes me letters every week, but I still haven't gotten a call. But it's weird you know the letters always seems kind of… _distant_. It's that not I doubt that she was faithful or anything like that it's just in those letter they always have me questioning if she's really as happy as she said she is.

I used to ask her. I kept telling her that if she's not happy she could tell me. But every time I did she would deny anything being wrong. So I had no chose but to let it go.

But even though we still keep in contact and I get a letter every week, it's still not the same as her being her with me. And every day I find something new to miss about her.

Her hair I love her hair. How soft it was, and how her she was never opposed to letting me play in it in class when Ms. Finnster isn't looking. Her hair is pure perfection as is her beautiful hazel brown eyes and cute button nose.

And I miss those eyes so much. The way she looked at me. I know this maybe cliché but they always seemed like she was piercing into my soul. Like they saw right through me and somehow just by looking into my eyes she knew everything there was about me. I always told her it kind of freaked me out. But I would never want to stop looking into those eyes.

And I always teased her about her hands. Her hands, as beautiful as they are, I noticed that one was slightly bigger than the other. I used her to tell her "Looks like Perfy isn't so perfect after all." She would smile and get kind flustered because she knew it was true. Then she'd get up and throw a pillow at me, and say that it would take me to be the only one to notice that.

I miss everything about her. I miss being able to hear her adorable laugh, her smile that could always light up the room, and those cherry lips.

I miss the smell of her dkny green apple perfume; it was her favourite. And how the room would still smell like her even when she left. I know this may seem pathetic but I bought a bottle of it when she left and sprayed it around my room so I can always have a part of me. I wouldn't dare wear it at school in fear of someone recognizing the smell and figures out what I'm doing and spreads the word all over school.

I miss her story telling as we'd sneak to the band room when the guys weren't around. And we'd sit on the couch with our legs spread out on the coffee table as we'd play with each other's hands, and sometimes lay her heads on the other's shoulder.

I dream about her every night and I tell her that in the letters. She tells me the same and we exchange stories about we'd dreamt about us being together, either her coming home or Cee Lo asking the both of us to tour with him. The plots vary.

But what I don't tell her is how I'm afraid that after the tour some she'll get even more recognition and become a house hold name and forget all about me.

I still have all the pictures I took of her. I remember the day I told her that if I didn't make it as a bass player in a band that I would love to be a photographer when she saw my professional camera on my dresser. And ever since then she had never been opposed to letting me take a picture of her; except the ones I would take when she wasn't expecting it. But I'd laugh and tell her that they were my favourites ones. Sometimes she'd pick out the ones she liked and would say something about her being gorgeous, even when she's not trying. I'd let out a small chuckle, roll my eyes, but wouldn't deny the statement.

I have a picture that stays next to my bedside so I could feel like she's with me. And sometimes and when I say sometimes I mean _every time _I can't sleep I keep on looking at that thing and think of how beautiful and how_ close _she was. I have another one that hangs in my locker at school because I need her to be there. I know that may make me a creep but I can't I care. I need her here with me.

I miss being able to hold her and stoke her cheek and invading her space in general.

I can never forget that laugh of hers, or her stunning smile, and dear god those cherry lips. I could go on and on.

I know now that I can never forget her. Even if when after the one year tour she does become famous, find someone new and forget me, I'll never forget her I swear of it. I'll remember our love forever even if this may be the beginning of the end.

&&&&.

_They're part of the list_

_Things that I miss_

_Things like your funny little laugh or the way you smile or the way we kiss_

_What I notice is this_

_I come up with_

_Something new every single time that I sit and reminisce_

_Whoaaa said whoaaa I whoaaa whoaaaa whoaaaaa_

_Whoaaa said whoaaa I whoaaa whoaaaa whoaaaaa_

We won the battle of the bands that day. We didn't find anyone to replace Kacey after a week of try-outs. But unknown to the guys I'd been writing a song that week entitled _Part of the List_. I bet you can guess who it was about.

It was my first song I've ever written. I'd asked the guys if it was alright if I sang it and were happy to oblige due to having no other option. We'd only had one practice, but that's all we needed to perfect the song. The show being the same day was great encouragement, I guess.

The crowd roared as I finished and we won the first place trophy. I made sure to rub it in Molly's face for Kacey, and for my own personal fun of course, as I walked off stage.

The guys asked me to be the new lead singer after that. I respectfully denied to job. I'm not that much of a singer anyway. I love the bass.

We almost broke up, until Grace showed up saying she had quit the Perfs.

I almost drop out of the band a few times too. Because I still miss her being there she'd snuck up on me, and became a part of me; she's the music in me now.

But I made myself stick to it, because I know that's what she'd want. She'dKacey wouldpassion for music, and she'd never live with herself knowing she's the reason I quit. So I found the inspiration again.

I want her to know that I'm still her and waiting. I still remember her undeniable laugh, and that striking smile of hers.

And those cherry lips are going to be the death of me.

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**Disclaimer: I just want to say the song _Part of the List_, Ne-Yo sang the song; and he and Chuck Harmon wrote the song. I'm just being careful with this thing.**

**AN: Review!**


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